What Does a Life Coach Do?

Written By Shirin Eskandani
 

I’ll be honest, after more than ten years of being in the coaching industry both as a client and a coach, this is a question I get asked often.  The truth is, there are a lot of misconceptions about what a life coach actually does.  

Is a life coach supposed to tell you what to do?
Is a life coach someone who keeps you accountable?
What’s the difference between a life coach and a therapist?

I get it.  It’s super confusing.  And truthfully, the world of social media does not help with this.  It sometimes seems like everyone is a coach and they’re all doing something different.

Here’s what this post will cover:

  • What a coach does

  • The difference between coaching and therapy

  • Debunking common coaching myths

The role of a coach

For many, when they think of a coach, they think of someone who has all the answers.  Possibly someone very charismatic on a stage telling them what to do and inspiring them to think positive.  Or perhaps, when they think of a coach, it’s someone who helps them create goals and then makes sure that they follow through on them.


To help, let’s look at some definitions of coaching.  First, let’s look at the International Coaching Federation’s definition:

[coaching is the process of] partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential. The process of coaching often unlocks previously untapped sources of imagination, productivity and leadership.

Reading this definition, what stands out to you?

A few things I think are important to highlight is that they define coaching as a partnership.  It isn’t a relationship where one person (coach) knows better than the other (client).  Instead, it’s a collaborative process between two people.  This definition also underscores that the client is already capable and that coaching helps them “untap” their innate abilities.  

Here is how I define coaching:

“A coach is someone who can create a space in which others feel empowered and supported to heal, grow and transform.  Coaching is the process in which a client learns to reclaim their own innate wisdom, fortitude and gifts to create the unimaginable. “ 

Now what stands out to you about this definition?

To me, coaching isn't about solving people's problems or telling them what to do. It's about creating a space where individuals feel supported and empowered to reclaim their own inner wisdom, strength, and fortitude. It’s about collaboration and mutual discovery, not a hierarchical relationship where the coach holds all the answers.

If a coach isn’t pointing you back to your own wisdom, then they are not truly serving you. Coaching should never create dependency; instead, it should foster independence and self-trust.

Incredible coaching starts with the recognition that every person has the answers within them.   My role as a coach is to help my clients uncover this wisdom by guiding them through their fears, insecurities, and doubts. This process involves deep listening, asking powerful questions, and holding a mirror up to their thoughts and feelings so they can see themselves more clearly.

I always tell the people I work with that they already know what is best for them.  My job is not to provide solutions but to create a space where they feel safe and supported in exploring their own solutions. This means fostering an environment of trust and openness where clients can express their true selves without fear of judgment. It’s about helping them reconnect with their inner strength and fortitude, empowering them to make decisions that align with their truest selves.

Impactful coaching results in clients feeling confident in their ability to navigate their lives independently. This means that by the end of our coaching relationship, they should feel capable of facing challenges and making decisions without needing my guidance. They should have a stronger connection to their inner wisdom and trust their ability to figure things out on their own.

I believe that good coaching is about empowerment. It’s about helping clients recognize their own potential and encouraging them to take ownership of their growth and development. This approach fosters self-reliance and resilience, enabling clients to thrive long after our coaching sessions have ended.

Here are some basics about what a coach does:

  1. Creates  Empowering Spaces
    As a life coach, your primary role is to create a supportive and “safe” environment where clients feel empowered to unlock their own inner wisdom, strength and abilities.   You’re not there to provide all the answers or fix problems, but to help clients tap into their own potential.

  2. Goal-Oriented Transformation
    Coaching is goal-oriented and focused on facilitating transformation. The role of a coach is to guide, assist, and support clients toward their desired transformation. Coaches don’t tell clients what to do or do it for them; instead, they offer support and accountability.

  3. Fosters Independence and Agency
    A healthy coaching relationship is collaborative.  Coach and client are both working together toward transformation and growth.  We call this a “Power-With” dynamic.  Ultimately, the client always has the final say as to what works best for them.  In this approach, the client has the agency.  Ultimately, we want our clients to rely on themselves as opposed to our assistance and guidance. 

Fosters Independence and Agency

A healthy coaching relationship is collaborative.  Coach and client are both working together toward transformation and growth.  We call this a “Power-With” dynamic.  Ultimately, the client always has the final say as to what works best for them.  In this approach, the client has the agency.  Ultimately, we want our clients to rely on themselves as opposed to our assistance and guidance. 

What is the difference between coaching and therapy?

The differences between coaching and therapy can be a bit blurred.  In many coaching certifications, they will teach that the main difference between coaching and therapy is that therapy is past-focused, while coaching is very present and future-focused. However, there are some therapy models, like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, that are very future-focused, and there are some coaches who prefer to spend a lot of time in the past as they understand that present behaviors are rooted in past experiences. 

Here are the two biggest distinctions between therapy and coaching:

1. Coaching is always in service of transformation

One of The biggest distinctions between coaching and therapy is that coaching is about transformation.  When a client seeks out a coach, they are ready to make a big change in their lives..  In therapy, the goal of a client can be varied- to understand themselves better, to come to terms with the past or present, to unpack trauma.  Conversely, in a coaching session the aim is to reach the client’s desired transformation.

2. Therapy includes diagnoses and treatment of psychological issues

Another very important distinction between a therapist and a coach is that therapists also diagnose and treat psychological issues such as depression, anxiety, and PTSD.  This is not something a coach should do.  Coaches do not under any circumstances diagnose the mental health of their clients.

Many people work with a coach while they are in, or have been in, therapy because they are becoming more aware of their behaviors and ways in which they are activated, and now want to move beyond to create different patterns of being. 

A good coach knows that when their clients’ issues are out of their scope it’s important to refer them to a therapist.

Debunking Common Coaching Myths

Let’s address some common myths about coaching:

  1. Need to Know All the Answers: A coach’s role is not about having all the answers. Coaching is not about giving advice but about creating a container where clients can come up with their own solutions and answers. Coaches help clients reclaim their own wisdom through wholehearted questions, listening, and offering tools and support.

  2. Need to Be Healed: You don’t need to be fully healed to be a coach, but you do need to be committed to your own path of wellness and healing. The best coaches are those invested in their own well-being. It’s important to be emotionally self-regulated to be grounded and present for your clients.

  3. Need to Be Versed in Every Modality: There are many tools out there, but you don’t need to be certified in everything. Coaches should have a toolbox that works for them and allows them to be flexible to meet each client’s needs. It’s more about having the right tools than the most tools.

  4. Need to be Charismatic/Intuitive/Extroverted: Many people think that there is a perfect mold for a coach. Maybe you’re thinking you can’t be a good coach because you’re not good in front of crowds or because you can’t tap into your intuition.  But, the beauty of coaching is that we need coaches who are diverse as the folks we work with.  There is no perfect coach.  There are no innate qualities that make one coach better than another.  The only important qualities are that we want to be of service and that you have a passion to do this work


Coaching is a privilege 

I truly believe that coaching is one of the most powerful modalities to facilitate change and transformation for others. The practice of coaching when it is done with care, with ethical boundaries, and with the proper tools and skills can impact people’s lives in immeasurable ways.  People come to coaches during their most difficult and vulnerable moments looking for answers.  They are looking for guidance and support to help them navigate difficult decisions, huge transitions, and big life events.   It is a privilege to coach.  It is an honor to coach.  And it should always  be regarded as such.  

Want to learn more?

  • Free Coaching Workshop: If you want to learn more about coaching and what a coach actually does, make sure to check out our free coaching workshop where we discuss all the ins and outs of being a coach.   

  • What’s possible as a coach: If you want to find out what’s possible as a certified Wholehearted Coach, check out what our coaches have to say about the Wholehearted Coaching Certification.  


Ready to become a life coach?

The Wholehearted Coaching Certification is a holistic life coaching certification that teaches you foundational coaching skills from a decolonized perspective. Our mission is to make coaching a more diverse, safe, and inclusive space by fostering a new generation of coaches who prioritize healing, transformation, and liberation for all.

 
 
Shirin Eskandani
Next

Building a Sustainable Business as a Life Coach